Interested in listening to the podcast episode for dating with the intention of marriage?

Beautiful day lovely humans! Welcome back to the website to read yet another blog posts of mine. If this is your first time here- LET ME LOVE ON YOU!!! -muahzz 😙

Today, I’d like to discuss the importance of choosing a partner who aligns with the vision that you have of your future life. In my personal opinion, dating with the intention of marriage, is more than dating a man until one proposes and marries you. I mean, it seems like the easiest thing a woman can do, is get a date with a man, be wined and dine by that man, and have a man tell her how he has fallen in love and wants to marry her.

Dating with the intention of marriage, in my opinion, is dating men who you’re consciously evaluating to see if he aligns with your core values, the mission that you have for your life, and if he is able to meet your standards. In addition to how well he treats you, and how well you enjoy his company.

DATING WITH THE INTENTION OF MARRIAGE HIGHLIGHTS:

• How to date for alignment
• Why every date is essentially an interview
• Boundaries MUST be set early and respected, because ACTIONS matter more than declarations.
• Why you must know your own life’s mission and how to use it to identify your ideal partner
• Your standards are a reflection of your self-worth and are essential for your protection
• Why it’s important to have a personal telephone number, and a public telephone number
• Every choice that you make in dating impacts your future children

I know that I’m just some random woman on the internet sharing unsolicited information lol. But I’m really hoping to share my experiences with other women so that they can learn from my mistakes 💚👑

What dating with the intention of marriage REALLY looks like- at least to me

I think this is the perfect time to reflect upon how quickly some people progress in relationships before they’ve had the opportunity to truly get to know a person. && yes, I get it. The two of you have your entire lives together to get to know one another better. But, as you progress into the relationship, are you taking the time to evaluate the person sitting before you?

How well do they align with your goals? Your mission? What about your values? I know it’s difficult for people to equate a date to an interview, but isn’t that basically what it is? Is this not the perfect time to observe the potential partner to see if they’re qualified to fulfil (I like to British spelling better) the roll of being your husband?

Should the two of you decide to start a partnership, will this action be a true merger, an aquisition, or just a disaster waiting to happen?

Let’s Date to Observe, Not to Be Swept Off of Our Feet

I’m familiar with those little feelings of butterflies in my stomach. That feeling of nervousness as I’m getting to know a new man. But as I think about it, I’ve come across two men in my life who I would deem as being ‘healthy’ && neither of those men gave me feelings of butterflies. My body felt at peace around them. I think that’s very telling.

Now, I view that sweeping sensation as being akin to panic. Similarly to the way one would feel if a martial artist swept their feet out from under them. More than likely, that person would end up falling flat on their face!

A man who is truly dating with the intention of marriage will catch you when you fall in love. && together, the two of you will land on soft footing.

When it comes to dating with the intention of marriage, every encounter is an interview, not a reward

Of course, I enjoy the feeling of a man ‘telling me what I want to hear.’ I have learned, however, to pay close attention to what he DOES, as opposed to what he says. Because of this, every date, phone call, message, trip that we take together, etc, is an interview. I’m not being rewarded by his presence- though one may argue that he is being rewarded with mine. But ultimately, we should both be checking to see if we’re in alignment with one another.

Let’s be real, most men don’t date for marriage. Although there are many men who actually do. Many men – women too – are dating for comfort, out of boredom, and to pass time. But a man who is truly interested in marriage, is going to be getting to know the character of the woman- behind her beauty. As opposed to simply wanting to be in the presence of a beautiful woman, or between the legs of a beautiful woman.

If you notice a dopamine reward every time a man reaches out to you, I’d say that’s a feeling worth exploring. Yes, it is nice to feel attracted to the men that you’re dating, but it’s very common for men to send a mass text out to several women at the same time. && there could be some underlying subconscious work worth doing to rebuild your self-confidence. This is exactly what the purpose of Aligned & Anointed is. This seven-day email series walks you this this process completely free 💚

When You’re Dating with The Intention of Marriage, Watch What He Does, Not Just What He Says.

A man telling you how much he loves you, and how beautiful you are is wonderful- truly it is. But what are his actions telling you? Does he cross any of your boundaries? Let’s say you told a man that you’re not interested in kissing on the lips until you feel more comfortable with him. But you give him permission to kiss your hands, and your arms. Does he still lean in for a kiss on your check? Or even worse on your lips (after you’ve explicitly told him not to kiss you on your mouth)?

If so, he doesn’t respect your boundaries- no matter what he is telling you out loud. Because a man who truly wants to be YOUR MAN will do any, and everything it takes (on your terms) to make you, his woman.

Just the same,

A man who only wants your treasure, will say anything (and do a great deal) to get you comfortable enough to ‘open up’ to him. I’ll tell you this though, when you have a vetting system in place, that explicitly is made with the intention of weeding through the pirates, they may not think it’s worth the effort.

Because a man who only wants your treasure, isn’t keen on putting in too much effort.

Pay attention to see if he is a man of integrity. Meaning, does he follow through with what he said he would do? If he says he will call at a specific time, does he? He says he’ll pick you up at a certain time, does he call if he’s going to be late? Most importantly, if he says that he’s going to do something, does he do it- without being prompted by you with a reminder?

Have Fun, but Stay Clear Headed

Honestly, I feel that it is important to stay sober on dates whether you’re dating with the intention of marriage or not!

Dating should be fun, absolutely. && honestly, if you don’t think he’s fun to be around, more than likely he isn’t the one for you. With that being said, it’s also very important to stay clear headed, and sober minded while you’re figuring out if the two of you are in alignment.

In fact, if a man so much as offers you alcohol or drugs on a date, I’d say that’s a red flag.

If you’re in the process of working through your sobriety, I invite you to participate in the 30-day lung cleanse. This is a free program that I have created that goes into addiction and how to actually break free from it- && it’s completely free!

Yes, I do feel that it’s perfectly permissible for a woman to go out and have fun. Have a drink or two (or three). I even feel like it’s perfectly acceptable for a woman to take an edible while she’s out if she wants to. But personally, I wouldn’t advise any woman to ingest any intoxicating substance around a man who has yet to be properly vetted. Please, stay safe 💚

His Character is What’s Most important- Not His Bank Account

Please do not be that girl who dates men specifically to see if she can get money out of them. Yes, I know that most men are dating women specifically to obtain access to her treasure chest, but his bank account shouldn’t be the only thing that attracts you to him. Albeit financial security is important in a relationship.

Have an idea of the man who you’re attracting into your life. This will allow you to recognize him when he comes. Think of a job description, how often do they list things such as ‘dresses professionally.’ Typically, they’re listing their ideal candidate. They’re most interested in knowing what this person’s qualifications are, and how well they can perform in the role that they’re applying for.

the men who approach you are asking to fulfil a role

What role are they competent enough to fulfil? Knowing his character, the vision that he has for his life, and what he feels like his purpose is in general, is how you’re able to determine his level of competency. With this being said, do you know what your mission, vision, and purpose is in life?

If not, how will you know if the two of you are in alignment with one another? Him being handsome, tall, and wealthy isn’t enough.

Let’s say this tall, handsome, wealthy man is eager to marry you. Your vision, mission, and purpose in your life are to help reservationist preserve the natural resources on their land. His vision in life is to obtain as much riches as possible by stripping the earth of as many of its natural resources as he possibly can. How harmonious would that relationship be?

your husband should be a reflection of you

Meaning, the two of you complement one another. Therefore, if you know that you don’t want to marry a smoker- don’t date a smoker. It isn’t our responsibility to change anyone. The moment you find out someone isn’t aligned with the purpose, vision, and mission that you have for your life- let him be! If he still wants to stick around, tell him that he can be a sponsor.

Marriage is a Merger

When two companies that are in alignment with one another join forces, the action is a merger. When a company would like to take control of the territory of a competing company, the action is an acquisition. In all reality, the goal isn’t to be searching for a husband at all- not really. The goal is to continue elevating your life. && should a complimentary partner come into your territory whom you could potentially partner with- wonderful.

When you’re dating, please remember that you’re simply observing to see whether this man has the capacity to fulfil the role of being your husband. Take note of the role that he’s actively applying for.

How often have you applied for an entry level position and been asked to be the Co-CEO of the company? I mean, it could happen- of course. But why promote someone who may not be qualified? Or who may not even want the job! Just the same, if someone does so happen to apply for that Co-CEO role, do you think the board of directors would simply allow the person to fulfil the role- simply because they seem nice? Or because the applicant wants the position?

If it’s not divine, it’s not aligned – THERE IS NO MIDDLE GROUND!

Standards Are a Reflection of Your Self-Worth

I find it very telling when a woman gives a man her number simply because he asks for it. && if I’m being honest with you, I once was the same way. But I’ve learned that some men ask a woman for her number purely to see if they can get it. Then, they’ll go celebrate with their friends about how they can ‘pull’ a woman of your caliber. Sometimes, a man doesn’t even have the intention of dating you at all. He may just be accustomed to asking women for their number.

I can think of two occasions where I’ve given my number out to a homeless person! 😅

I get it, there are times when it seems like the safest thing to do in the situation is to give the man your number. Because of this, I think it is very important to have a public telephone number, and a private number.

have you ever:

• given your number to a man simply because he approached you?
• gave your number to a man who you had zero interest in?
• given your number to a man because he had his phone out ready to see if the number is active?

If you have, then you could possibly benefit from having a public telephone number. Go ahead and grab a Google Voice number girl! Most of the time. that’s what the random men on the street, or in your DMs are using anyway. Let that phone ring in that moment and continue to forward to voicemail should he call again.

this is why I require a non-disclosure agreement

The moment a man hears that he has to sign something, you learn a lot! && honestly, every man that I’ve given the non-disclosure agreement to has signed it. But I imagine that a man who has ulterior motives, or who cannot afford to court a woman, would tread with caution.

It was actually God who put it on my heart to begin implementing this dating screening into my life.

Having Standards Does Not Affect Who SHOWS UP In Your Life

It affects who STAYS in your life. This is because standards are a signal of self-respect. Typically, if a person does not have any standards. they lack self-respect. There are some men who wouldn’t want to entertain a woman who doesn’t respect herself. && then there are men, who are predators, who LOVE to prey on a woman who doesn’t have self-respect.

I’m not here to place blame on any woman who has been taken advantage of by a man. That man is responsible for his actions. With that being said, we too, are responsible for our actions as well. Looking back, I see that there are several situations that I could have avoided had I simply had move love, and respect for myself in the past.

I’ve spoken to several men about my dating screen since implementing it

Only one man said it was too much. && this was a man who was interested is using dating me && he was only used as exposure therapy in return. The rest of the men, (who weren’t interested in dating me) agreed with, and nodded in approval, when I shared my dating screen. They all said something along the lines of, ‘if he wants you- he’ll do it!’ Fascinating, right?!

At the end of the day, it’s you who holds the key to your heart. && anyone who dares to enter it MUST abide by your rules. No exceptions, no excuses. Just the same, if you’d like to sit on the throne of his heart, you’d need to respect the rules that he has implemented into his life. If neither of you can do this, it wasn’t aligned to begin with.

Every Choice That You Make in Life Has a Ripple Effect

This includes what you eat, what you wear, where you go, who you date, who you allow inside of your body, as well as the jobs that you accept. They all play a role in your life- in general. Different choices can lead to entirely different timelines. One may experience different struggles or blessings based upon the decisions that they make.

Oftentimes, people spend so much time worrying about the future, or longing over the past, that they forget to notice the opportunities that are directly in front of them in the present. Who you give your number to matters. Who you allow to be in your energy matters. Therefore, be selective. 🤸🏽‍♀️B 🤸🏽‍♀️ E 🤸🏽‍♀️️ SELECTIVE 🤸🏽‍♀️

Conclusion: Dating With the Intention of Marriage Means Dating with Honor ❣️

Dating with the intention of marriage means dating with honor. Honor for yourself, honor for him, and honor for your future. Girl, who told you that you’re asking for too much? When it comes to your body, your future children, your future happiness, and your life in general- you could never be asking for too much!

You’re simply asking to be covered, and to be in alignment with your standards. Your standards are in place to honor you, by protecting your peace. They honor him as well, because when he’s in a room with other men who’ve tried you – and failed – he’ll know exactly the kind of woman you are.

Therefore, don’t be easy. Be choosy. && no, I’m not suggesting that you play hard to get. I’m telling you to literally, be a challenge to obtain. This is said out of love, for your protection.

I hope that this blog post has provided you with clarity of what dating with the intention of marriage REALLY looks like- at least to me.

As always, I appreciate you taking the time to read this blog post. This website is self-hosted without the use of advertisements, sponsorships, or affiliate links. If you’d like to contribute to this website, you may do so here. I gratefully do appreciate you.

Remember, all things are possible- they are! The best is yet to come && the odds are always in your favor. Take care.

-Divine Dime💚👑